Ephesians 5:25-33

          Men have many sinful ways they cruelly respond to marital conflict.  A man may abuse his wife physically or emotionally; commit fornication (sexual sin) or embrace uncleanness (impure thoughts); or abdicate his leadership role letting his wife do whatever she wants as long as she keeps him happy.  None of these are satisfying to the man (or the woman); but most important, none of these reflects obedience to the Creator.

          Believing men are called to love their wives.  It is the same love that imitates God and shows the sacrificial giving of Christ on the cross (v25; Eph. 5:1-2).  If a woman through submission lives for her husband, the husband through love dies for his wife.

          Men are often confused about what it means to be the head of his wife.  Note first that the emphasis on headship was stated to the wife (v22-24), not to the man.  The first rule of the man’s leadership is to be submissive to his own head who is Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 11:3).  The result of his loving leadership is that his wife is sanctified and becomes holy and without blemish (v26-27).  These are the same words that defined our calling by God in Eph. 1:5.

          Another aspect of spiritual leadership is seen in a man’s provision for and protection of his wife (v28-29).  The terms nourishes and cherishes simply mean to feed and warm someone.  They are basic pictures of provision and protection.  The man is called on to know his wife well (1 Pt. 3:7) that he might care for her in the most loving ways. In Ruth 2:8-13 Boaz demonstrated this kind of care for Ruth in practical ways, providing food, security and a sense of belonging.  So a man’s love for his wife is demonstrated by actions (1 John 3:18).  

          The man’s commitment to his wife is to be seen from the very outset of the marriage as well as in the experience of oneness (v30-31).  The leave and cleave principle (a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife) was established by the Creator from the beginning (Gen. 2:24).  In marriage there is the establishment of a new family.  The ties of dependency on parents are cut.  The man is totally committed to his wife.  The one flesh experience is a picture of this commitment.  Thus one can see why any sexual relationship outside of marriage is so destructive (1 Cor. 6:12-20).

          You will note in the passage that there is a constant interplay between the relationship of the man and woman and the relationship of Christ and His church.  This is by God’s design (v32).  What is true in the one is true in the other.  Thus a husband must be focused on Christ that he might know true love.

          The closing verse of the chapter provides a simple but accurate summary for both the husband and wife.  If you are married take time today (and every day) to pray for your spouse and for your relationship.  Pray also for those around you, that they might follow God’s provision for satisfaction in this most difficult and rewarding human relationship.

          Husband, are you loving your wife as Christ loved His church?