1 Thess. 4:3-6; Gen. 3:1-13,16, Marital Conflict

Very often the husband fails to lead, following the leading of his wife when she was not following God.  Here are four illustrations: Adam and Eve (Gen. 3); Abraham and Sara (Gen. 16); Ahab and Jezebel (1 Kings 21); and Ananias and Sapphira (Acts 5:1-11).  Think on this as we consider the loss of joy in marriage in Gen. 3.

III.            Enjoyment lost (the source of marital conflict), Genesis 3. 

Many major issues were at work when sin entered the world.  It begins with questioning God’s word (v1).  The woman dealt directly with Satan when the husband should have had a concern for her spiritual welfare (v2-3).  We see “the lie” that has forever been man’s plague (v4-5; 2 Th. 2:11).  Eve experienced full temptation: lust of the flesh (good for food), lust of the eyes (pleasing to the eye), and pride of life (you will be like God).  Sadly Adam was there but did not lead (v6b).  The consequences are still with us: shame (v7), separation from God (v8), fear (v9-10), blaming others  (v11-13).  Also with us today is the curse (v14-19).

The last two lines of Gen. 3:16 are pertinent to marriage and the loss of joy: your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you.  You may read this and think it is simply saying the woman will submit to her husband and he will be the leader.  But that cannot be the correct interpretation.  That was true before they sinned and that is true when we are in Christ; that is not a curse.  Instead we should understand that the woman’s desire is a sinful desire and the man’s ruling a sinful ruling.  Her desire is akin to the desire sin had in Cain in Gen. 4:7; it is the same word.  The woman seeks her husband’s position of leadership.  In response the husband rules her harshly.  We will support this from various commentaries:

Thomas Conant, commentary, 1868, “The stronger party in this relation, instead of being the natural guardian & protector of the weaker, would use his superior power to oppress and debase her. 

Henry Morris, The Genesis Record, p123. Such harsh ‘rule,’ of course, went far beyond ‘God’s intention. Though the husband was to be the head of the house, he was to love and cherish his wife, considering her to be ‘one flesh’ with himself, ‘clinging to his wife’ (Gen 2:23,24).”

Albert Barnes, p126f.  Under fallen man, woman has been more or less a slave. In fact, under the rule of selfishness, the weaker must serve the stronger. A spiritual resurrection only will restore her to her true place, as the helpmeet for man.


In the end what was introduced was an intense competition in the marriage.  The woman no longer was a help to her husband but, in essence, sought to replace him.  The man responded by abdicating his headship role (both the cruelty of beating her or the cruelty of walking off and letting her have the role that was not hers).  The prevalence of wife battering, sexual assault, pornography (cheapening of women), divorce (inability to remain together) and cohabitation are signs that this competition is still prevalent in our world.  Before we find resolution let us recognize the cause of this loss of joy in marriage; let us recognize it in our own situation.