1 Thess. 4:3-6; Eph. 5:22-33, Conflict Resolution

MAN		WOMAN
Image of God	RESPECT	Image of God
HEAD	CREATION	HELPER
HARSH RULE	SIN	COVETS HEADSHIP
LOVE	REDEMPTION	SUBMISSION

Let us review. The man and the woman, created equally in the image of God, given specific responsibility by the Lord, through sin have lost the joy of their relationship.  How can this be resolved?  As Albert Barnes put it, this can only happen through a spiritual resurrection.  There must be a fundamental change that overcomes the curse.

IV.            Enjoyment regained (the resolution of marital conflict), Eph. 5.

At the center of enjoyment regained is the new birth, our becoming one with Christ in His death and resurrection and being made new creatures.  In terms of marriage the centrality of Christ is nowhere more apparent than in 1 Cor. 11:3: But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.  Christ sets the pattern for both the husband and wife.  As a man is the head of his wife so Christ is the head of the man.  As a woman is submissive to a man so Christ is submissive to His Father.  Whether man or woman our new life in Christ is essential to living out a satisfying and God-honoring relationship.  This must be clear.  We are not simply saying we can regain what was lost by love and submission; we are saying that only through the power of God’s Spirit which we have in Christ can we live in love and submission.


Love and submission are the key terms for the marital relationship in the NT (Eph. 5:22,25; Col. 3:18-19; 1 Pet. 3:1-7).  The roles are still headship and helper (e.g. 1 Tim. 3:4,12; 5:10,14; Titus 2:4-5) but the contentious relationship is corrected by love and submission.

·        LOVE.  The definition of love is wrapped up in Christ: God is love!  There is no greater love than the love of Christ in His sacrificial death (1 Jn. 4:7-11).  The one who loves gives his life for his beloved.  The emphasis is on giving and sacrifice.

·        SUBMISSION.  The definition of submission is wrapped up in Christ as well: He is the Servant.  Jesus exemplified submission in John 13 when He taught all His disciples to wash each other’s feet.  It is clearly seen in Mark 10 when twice He asks the open-ended question of the servant: what do you want Me to do for you (10:36,51).  The one who submits seeks the good of the other.  They live their life for the other.

The subject of today’s post is huge.  We only mean to speak of it in terms of the marriage relationship and hope to show that the reconciliation we have through Christ reaches to this most critical relationship.  Let us pursue Christ and in so doing let us enjoy each other.