Eph. 5:25-33, Husbands, Love Your Wives

 Years ago I was edified by the writings of a Mennonite brother named David Augsburger.  I saw that he passed away towards the end of last year.  I never met him, didn’t keep track of him.  I do know some of his books were helpful to me, including Caring Enough to Confront and The Freedom of Forgiveness: Seventy Times Seven.  What I want to post today is from his pen.  My notes say it was from something called “Man, the Leader.”  I can’t find it in his list of books, although he wrote on marriage.  It may have been an article.  That’s all I can say in hopes of avoiding charges of plagiarism.  I hope you find this edifying as I did.

The autocratic personality

The Christ-ocratic personality

Gives orders without asking questions, without permitting questions; makes demands, dishes out directives, lays down the law, is defensive if challenged; requires compliance regardless of consent or agreement; pushes and manipulates one-man rule in over-under position; says “You do, you must do, you ought to have done, you’d better do”; depends on his own external authority to muricate others; generates friction, resistance, resentment; separates and isolates people.

Asks questions, seeks to truly hear, suggests alternatives; respects freedom and dignity of others, can affirm the truth clearly and concretely but nondefensively; values willing cooperation, works for open agreement and understanding; leads, attracts, persuades personal relationships in side-by-side identification; says, “Come, let’s do, we might have done, can we try?”  depends on their internal integrity to motivate them; generates acceptance, cooperation, and reconciliation; unites and helps persons relate to each other.

 

To be a man

Is to possess the strength to love another,

Not the need to dominate over others.

To be a man

Is to experience the courage to accept another,

Not the compulsion to be an aggressor.

To be a man

Is to keep faith with human values in relationships,

Not to value oneself by position and possessions.

To be a man

Is to be free to give love

And to be free to accept love in return.

John 3:16; 1 Peter 3:7, Caring Husbands

As it is around Valentine’s Day, I would like to take three days off from the Gospel of John to provide some devotional thoughts for husbands and wives.  Our basic passage is 1 Peter 3:1-7.

Husbands are called by Christ to love their wives.  Love appears in many different ways; a reading of 1 Cor. 13 will make that clear.  So let’s see some of those varieties of love in 1 Peter.  While we are at it, let’s also remember the other great “love chapter” (1 John 4), where we see that God is love and that our ability to love is bound up in the fact that He loved us first.  What we see Peter calling for in a husband, the husband will see in God’s love for him.

·Provide your wife with SECURITY.  What we are talking about is to “never leave thee nor forsake thee” (Heb. 13:5).  One of the greatest passages on this aspect of God’s love is Rom. 8:31-39.  In 1 Peter 3:7 it is seen in the phrase, “dwell with them.”  This involves a compound word, one word, that is translated “dwell with.”  It’s not “dwell over” as her lord but dwell with, alongside her, as her companion.  And it’s not just never divorcing her.  It’s never withholding any of your love or blessing.  She should never doubt your love.

·Provide your wife with CONSIDERATION.  Peter says, dwell with them with “understanding.”  You need to know her.  A great passage about God’s knowledge of us is Psalm 139, especially v1-6.  It means you need to be a student of your wife, to know how you can best meet the needs in her life.  It is NOT knowing her so you know which buttons to push to manipulate her for your benefit.  Furthermore, it is NOT knowing her so you find out what’s wrong so you can judge her or win an argument.  It is knowing her so your love is intelligent.  It means having a singular focus on her, unlike any other person and especially any other woman.  A home is build on knowledge and understanding (Pr. 24:3-4).

·Provide your wife with PROTECTION.  Here we are talking about love that is aware of the weaknesses of another person.  We all have them.  Peter says that the woman is the “weaker” vessel.  It means you treat her as a special person.  Weakness does not bring criticism but compassion.  If you wonder about this, remember how God has loved and is loving you.  Even when we don’t understand our weaknesses, God attends to them for us by His Spirit (Rom. 8:26).  God never allows us to get in so far over our heads that there is no escape (1 Cor. 10:13).  Do you see that?  It’s knowing your wife so well that you are able to come along side her when she doesn’t even know she’s in need.  And because it’s love, you are doing it without preaching to her about her weakness. 

·Provide your wife with ELEVATION.  The issue here is knowing your wife in terms of who she is before God and in Christ.  Specifically, Peter says you are “heirs together of the grace of life.”  Since it’s not clear in English, let me tell you that when Peter talks about “your prayers” the “your” is plural.  Do you realize that you highly elevate your wife when you join her in God’s throne room?  Or, when you permit her to join you in God’s throne room?  There is no higher place to be.  Furthermore, you elevate your wife when you ask her to pray for you.  And you elevate her when you pray for her and thank God for her.  Love reaches it’s peak when husband and wife are in communion with the Father and the Son (1 John 1:3-4).

Bottom line: Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her (Eph. 5:25).

Psalm 134

This is the simplest of songs.  It speaks of the pilgrim in pure worship of God.  The pilgrim is at the temple, God's dwelling place.  He is at rest from his difficulties (Ps. 131), he has set his eyes on Messiah (Ps. 132), and he is in fellowship with many other pilgrims (Ps. 133).  He is so moved in all this that he has one thought: bless the Lord!

To "bless" is to speak well of someone.  The "someone" the pilgrim has in mind is the Lord.  Five times in this short song he refers to the Lord.  He desires that all who serve Him should bless Him.  Servants are often tempted to curse the one they serve, a sin under any circumstance.  But those who serve the Lord serve a gracious and compassionate Master; blessing is the only reasonable response.

The pilgrim's words are directed towards the Lord's servants who serve by night in the Lord's house.  This is as good as worship gets in Old Testament times.  The pilgrim, at the temple during the evening sacrifice, was an observer of the priests and Levites as they performed the acts of worship on behalf of all Israel.  By His death on the cross Christ has given access to the presence of God for all who come by faith.  Pure worship today is not one of a spectator cheering on the worship leaders.  It is the service of all who serve the Lord.

Finally, note that the pilgrim's praise is born out of his pilgrimage.  He worships the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the very One who promised to be his help at the start (Ps. 121).  The pilgrim has encountered many trials along the way: contempt, battles with his enemy and the evil world around him, and battles with his own sinful soul.  But at every turn the Lord has been his Help, showing mercy, being a refuge, forgiving and satisfying.  So out of trial has come, not bitterness or doubt or worry, but a deep and deeper love for God.  Is this not what the pilgrim set out to discover back in Meshech (Ps. 120)?  Was this not the joy he envisioned when his friends suggested the idea (Ps. 122)?  This song tells us the pilgrim has found the One who alone could save him out of his life of despair and defeat.

Friend, it is God's desire that you know Him, and that you grow daily in that knowledge (2 Peter 3:18).  Pilgrimage is the path that will lead you to this blessed knowledge of the Holy One!  May your journey be blessed by the Maker of Heaven and Earth so that you might increasingly live to bless the Lord! 

John 3:10-16; Num. 21:4-9, Gospel Bridges (Nicodemus, 3)

·       Jesus, v10-21.  Let us now consider Jesus’ words to Nicodemus.

o   v10-13: Jesus expressed amazement that Nicodemus did not know these things.  He knew Nicodemus’ heart, but thought a “teacher of Israel” should know about something that was predicted in the Old Testament. 

§   Deut. 5:29; 29:4; 30:5-6: Moses told Israel God had not “yet” given them a heart to know Him, but in time He would circumcise their hearts.

§  Isaiah 32:15; Ezek. 39:29; Joel 2:28: Frequently, the prophets said that God would pour out His Spirit on Israel and they would know Him.

§  Ezekiel 36:27; 37:14: Ezekiel predicted that the Holy Spirit would live in them and enable them to be obedient to God’s commands.

§  Zechariah 12:10: This passage combines the outpouring of the Holy Spirit on Israel with them seeing the One they pierced and mourning over Him.  This is critical for Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus as you will see. 

§  v13: Thus, Jesus was amazed that Nicodemus was ignorant of these truths.  On the other hand, Jesus made it clear that He, having come down from heaven, had a perfect grip on these “heavenly things.”

o   v13-18: Jesus’ answer takes Him to a story in the Old Testament that Nicodemus would have known quite well.  Note Jesus’ last words in v13: the Son of Man who is in heaven.  This “Son of Man” is the One who ascended to heaven but also came down from heaven (v13).  What about this person?

§  v14-15: This Son of Man must be “lifted up.”  We see what He means from a story in Israel’s desert wanderings when Moses “lifted up” a bronze snake on a pole so the people, who were being bitten by poisonous snakes, could look at it and live.  Here are more things to note in the story.

·       The people were being bitten because they had sinned against God for the “umpteenth” time.  This was God’s fury on Israel.

·       Bronze (reddish metal, like fire) was emblematic of judgment.  So, in effect, the bronze snake was taking the judgment of the people.

·       The people only needed to trust God and look at the snake, which was lifted up where all could see.  If they did, they would live.

§  v16: Jesus was saying that the Son of Man, who is God’s “only begotten Son,” was akin to the bronze serpent.  He would be lifted up for all to see, not just Israel, but the whole world.  Those who “look” to Him are those who “believe in Him.”  They would receive life, not just for their earthly days, but eternal life.  This is the new life for those who are born again.

That is the story that explains John 3:16, the favorite verse of many.  Have you “looked” to Jesus?  Amazingly, there must have been people too proud to look to the bronze snake.  More amazing, there are people who will not look to Christ!

John 3:3-13, Gospel Bridges (Nicodemus, 2)

Let’s follow Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus.  First, pay attention to what Jesus said, and consider it in your own life.  Then, pay attention to how Jesus confronted this seeker who had devoted his life to his religion.

·       Jesus, v3: Unless one is born of God, he cannot see the kingdom of God.

·       Nicodemus, v4: How can this happen?  (He sees from an earthly perspective.)

·       Jesus, v5-8: He gives further explanation.

o   v5: “Water and Spirit” speaks of the two births: human (from the womb, water) and spiritual (by the Spirit of God).  God’s kingdom is a “spiritual” kingdom, thus requiring a spiritual birth (v6).  Therefore, don’t be surprised that you must be born again (v7).

o   v9: Nicodemus’ question was “how.”  So Jesus continued, explaining that the Spirit is sovereign in the new birth.  When we say that, it does not mean that God lacks a plan.  It does say that Nicodemus’ good works had nothing to do with the working of the Holy Spirit.  Regeneration is totally the work of God.

·       Nicodemus, v9: The question in v4 was answered in v5-7.  The question in v9 is brought about by Jesus’ additional teaching in v8.  This goes against everything Nicodemus had been taught about how to have a right standing with God. 

o   Read Paul’s testimony in Philippians 3:4-7 and you will get insight into Nicodemus’ perspective.  The whole point of Pharisaical religion was to “put confidence in the flesh.”  Nicodemus had to come to the point Paul came to, where “what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ.”  Many people are like this.  They believe they are well across the “bridge to God” but, in fact, have missed the onramp and are headed into the river.

o   Titus 3:5 addresses Nicodemus’ need: Not by works of righteousness which we have done, but according to His mercy He saved us, through the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Spirit.

o   1 Peter 1:3 also refers to God’s mercy as the motivation behind the Spirit’s sovereign work.  Peter also helps us see that regeneration is the work of the Triune God.  The new birth required and requires the resurrection of Christ.  Our new life is resurrection life: Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead.

·       Jesus, v10-21: We believe that Jesus was still speaking with Nicodemus until v22 says, “after these things.”  In this passage, Jesus gives a clear announcement of the gospel, that there is a way to God through His life, death and resurrection.  It is a message that calls us to faith.  But remember, we must reject the thought that something in our present lives will bring us across the bridge of faith to God.  Unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.   

John 2:23-3:8, Gospel Bridges (Nicodemus, 1)

We have come to Jesus’ conversation with Nicodemus.  But before that, we have the short paragraph at the end of Ch. 2.  Having cleansed the temple and ruffled the feathers of the temple leadership, Jesus is about to be approached by one of those leaders.  What 2:23-25 tells us is that Jesus understood the situation.  Things were not always as they seemed to be.  Many believed in His name.  Yet, Jesus did not entrust Himself to them, for He knew what was in man.  Many who first believed in Him would later turn away from Him (Jn. 6:66). 

It is with this in mind that we come to two important conversations: Jesus with Nicodemus, a ruler of the Jews; and Jesus with the woman at the well, a Samaritan sinner.  We will learn a lot about building bridges, “gospel bridges.” 

Nicodemus was a Pharisee, the strictest sect of the major Jewish parties.  For the Pharisees, it was all about “external religion.”  He came to Jesus by night, possibly because that was the most opportune time, but more likely, to avoid being seen by his fellow Pharisees.  He came, recognizing that Jesus was a teacher and had done great signs.  You might think Jesus would say, “so how about it, Nic?  Do you believe the signs?  Why don’t you come follow me?”  But Jesus did not do that.  If Jesus had taken that approach, He would have left Nicodemus in his sins.

Instead, Jesus’ first words were a reproof and instruction: “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.”  Here is one of those places where the translation could be better.  The double words (“truly, truly” or “verily, verily”) were an important tool of the prophets when calling Israel to hear and repent (cf. Isa. 51:9,17; 52:1, etc.).  Jesus used this approach frequently (1:51; 3:3,5; 5:19,24,25; 6:26,32,47,53; 8:34,51,58; 10:1,7; 12:24; 13:16,20,21,38; 14:12; 16:20,23; 21:18).  These words are important; you better pay attention.

John 3:3 and 5 have similar statements, but not exactly the same.  To be “born of water and the Spirit” is a more detailed statement of “born again.”  We believe it explains the two births: the normal human birth, from the water of the womb (born of blood, of the will of the flesh, of the will of man, Jn. 1:13a), and the birth from above (that is spiritual or by the Spirit, Jn. 1:13b). 

A new birth is required because we are entering a totally different sphere, one that is spiritual.  We are not naturally equipped to live in that sphere.  But further, we are sinful through and through.  Every aspect of our natural lives is affected by sin.  Therefore, it is not sufficient simply to correct us or to “remodel” what is there.  There must be renovation of the whole nature.  What was required was not something that Nicodemus’ religion, or anyone’s religion, could accomplish.  It is being “born from above.”  In other words, we must be born of God.

Jesus, knowing what people are like, hit Nicodemus hard from the start, lest he continue to seek God through his religion.  Are we listening to Jesus?

John 2:12-22, The Intruding Jesus

What man has the authority to … Claim to be God (Jn. 5:18)? … Say ‘verily, verily’ (Jn. 5:24, 25, etc.)? … Teach in an authoritative manner (Mt. 7:29)? … Grant forgiveness (Mt. 9:1-8; Ac. 5:30-32; 10:40-43)? … Intrude into private lives, demanding change? Jesus did all this.  Today’s passage brings us face to face with this authority!

The story begins in Capernaum (v12), literally “Kephar Nahum,” the village of Nahum.  It was a city of recent origin but growing importance, a beautiful city on the Sea of Galilee.  If you saw it from the south on a clear day, you would see snow-capped Mt. Hermon in full view to the north.  It was Jesus’ new headquarters after leaving Nazareth (Lk. 4).  He was in Capernaum, and it was Passover time in Jerusalem.  So, Jesus and the disciples went up to the capital city.

There were several types of abuses in the temple area of Jerusalem.  The High Priest demanded the temple tax be paid in shekels, meaning Roman money had to be exchanged.  As it is today, so it was then: the exchange rate always favored the High Priest who profited from the business.  Few animals were brought from homes far away, so lambs, sold at a profit, had to be purchased at the temple.  Those brought from home were inspected for a fee.  Historians agree that the family of Annas (father-in-law to Caiaphas) was very corrupt.  It was this corruption, as well as the fact that arrival at the temple was dominated by the noise of the business, that offended Jesus.  He had what every Jew should have: a zeal for God’s house!

So, Jesus intruded.  He turned over the tables.  Coins went flying, rolling across the stone floor.  And tempers flared.  The question, “what sign,” is in essence, who gave you the authority to do this?  Jesus’ answer served to establish the end-game, if you will, of His life and ministry on earth.  Destroy this temple, and in three days I will raise it up.  He did not perform a “sign” at this point, to establish His authority.  But He did set the table for the final sign: His resurrection from the dead!  Here is Richard Lenski’s description of the intruding Christ:

The public ministry of Jesus begins with an act of holy wrath and indignation.  The Son cleans His Father’s house with the lash of the scourge.  No halfway measures, no gradual and gentle correction will do in a matter as flagrant as this.  Here at the very start is the stern and implacable Christ.  … Jesus never lost His self-control; if He had, He would have sinned.  The stern and holy Christ, the indignant, mighty Messiah, the Messenger of the Covenant … is not agreeable to those who want only a soft and sweet Christ.

Is it possible you have rejected Christ because you have feigned offense at His intrusion into your life?  Did he upset you, destroying what you had carefully built?  He has that authority.  His intrusion is your opportunity to submit to Him in faith.