Men have many
sinful ways they cruelly respond to marital conflict. A man may abuse his wife physically or
emotionally; commit fornication (sexual sin) or embrace uncleanness (impure
thoughts); or abdicate his leadership role letting his wife do whatever she
wants as long as she keeps him happy. None of these are satisfying to the man (or
the woman); but most important, none of these reflects obedience to the
Creator.
Believing men
are called to love their wives. It is the same love that imitates God and shows the sacrificial giving of Christ
on the cross (v25; Eph. 5:1-2). If a
woman through submission lives for her
husband, the husband through love dies
for his wife.
Men are often
confused about what it means to be the head
of his wife. Note first that the
emphasis on headship was stated to the wife (v22-24), not to the man. The first rule of the man’s leadership is to
be submissive to his own head who is Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 11:3). The result of his loving leadership is that
his wife is sanctified and becomes holy
and without blemish (v26-27). These
are the same words that defined our calling by God in Eph. 1:5.
Another
aspect of spiritual leadership is seen in a man’s provision for and protection
of his wife (v28-29). The terms nourishes and cherishes simply mean to feed and warm someone. They are basic pictures of provision and
protection. The man is called on to know
his wife well (1 Pt. 3:7) that he might care for her in the most loving ways. In
Ruth 2:8-13 Boaz demonstrated this kind of care for Ruth in practical ways,
providing food, security and a sense of belonging. So a man’s love for his wife is demonstrated
by actions (1 John 3:18).
The man’s
commitment to his wife is to be seen from the very outset of the marriage as
well as in the experience of oneness (v30-31).
The leave and cleave principle
(a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife) was
established by the Creator from the beginning (Gen. 2:24). In marriage there is the establishment of a
new family. The ties of dependency on
parents are cut. The man is totally
committed to his wife. The one flesh experience is a picture of
this commitment. Thus one can see why
any sexual relationship outside of marriage is so destructive (1 Cor. 6:12-20).
You will note
in the passage that there is a constant interplay between the relationship of
the man and woman and the relationship of Christ and His church. This is by God’s design (v32). What is true in the one is true in the
other. Thus a husband must be focused on
Christ that he might know true love.
The closing
verse of the chapter provides a simple but accurate summary for both the
husband and wife. If you are married
take time today (and every day) to pray for your spouse and for your
relationship. Pray also for those around
you, that they might follow God’s provision for satisfaction in this most
difficult and rewarding human relationship.
Husband, are
you loving your wife as Christ loved His church?
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