Eph. 4:25-32, How to Forgive Those You Love

(Several years ago, at a men’s retreat sponsored by our church in Kalispell, MT., the speaker, Stephen Bly, made a couple of very helpful presentations.  I took notes and want to share them here and in the next post.  They are in pure outline form; I’m not going to embellish them.  Here is a “Wikipedia” introduction to Bly.)

Stephen Bly (August 17, 1944 – June 9, 2011) was an American author and politician. He wrote more than 100 books and hundreds of articles, poems, and short stories. His book, The Long Trail Home (Broadman & Holman), won the 2002 Christy Award in the category Western novel. Three other books, Picture Rock (Crossway Books), The Outlaw's Twin Sister (Crossway Books), and Last of the Texas Camp (Broadman & Holman) were Christy Award finalists. Bly's books, primarily Western novel genre in the American West, historical and contemporary, are written from a Christian worldview. His Paperback Writer was noted in a Publishers Weekly review for its “amusing parody of the proverbial dime-store paperback novel."

1.    Why is it so tough to forgive?

a.     Because we are selfish, self-centered.

b.    We believe “they betrayed us!”

c.     Note how quickly Jesus forgave from the cross: He forgave His killers before He died.

2.    Why must we forgive?

a.     The offender needs another try.

b.    For our sake.

c.     For the gospel’s sake. Mt. 6:14.

d.    For our witness sake.

e.     For the sake of “collateral damage.”

3.    Some ideas on forgiveness.

a.     Forgiveness does not require that they ask for forgiveness or repent.

b.    Some offenses need to be forgiven over and over (70X7).

c.     Forgiveness begins in the heart.

d.    Sometimes we will have to live with the pain of an unforgiven relationship.

4.    How to go about forgiving?

a.     It means …

                                                 i.      I won’t bring it up to you or to other people.

                                              ii.      I won’t sit around thinking about it.

                                           iii.      It won’t affect our relationship.

b.    Get alone with the Lord.  Ask Him to reveal the log in your own eye.

c.     Sooner or later you will have to talk with the person you need to forgive.

d.    We must do our part, even if they don’t respond.

e.     And we must release it!