Matthew 19:10-12; Malachi 2:13-17, Grace for Marriage

When Jesus’ disciples rightly understood Jesus’ teaching, that He did not ascribe to the idea of divorce for any reason, they responded in such a way as to say, “marriage is hard.”  And Jesus did not deny this.  Rather, He acknowledged what He knew in the Garden of Eden, that loneliness is generally harder. 

Loneliness is hard.  Marriage is hard.  Divorce is not an option. 

So, where’s the grace?

The first thing we note is that Jesus did not launch into a marriage sermon.  There are lots of those these days.  How to have a happy marriage in three easy steps!  Okay, hardly anyone says it that way.  And whatever you think the rest of this post sounds like, that is not my point either.  I want to remind you of the basic principles of the Christian life and tell you that they apply to marriage as to every other area of life.

Why did Jesus end His words on marriage here?  I would suggest two reasons.  First, Jesus is all about allowing people to understand their deep need, a need caused by the sin in their hearts.  They don’t need a lesson on righteousness until they have come to grips with their own unrighteousness.  It is a good thing that the disciples meditate on the thought that marriage is hard.  Second, Jesus just finished a magnificent sermon on humility (Matt. 18).  That is a powerful sermon on having a better marriage.  This is the point: a better marriage is just taking the truths of the Christian life in general and applying them to your relationship with your spouse.

Having said that, here are three basic principles of Scripture that you can meditate on and seek the Spirit’s help in applying to marriage.

v Take heed to your spirit, Malachi 2:15-16.  Pay attention to what is happening in your heart, the things that are coming out in conversation and action toward your spouse.  I mention this because God says it twice in this marriage passage.  When there are feelings of hatred and disrespect, take the feelings to the Lord before your heart becomes hardened.

v Love your enemy, Rom. 12:17-21.  This whole passage teaches us how to deal with people who are against us.  Sometimes our spouse acts that way, because they have not taken heed to their spirit.  But when they do, then take heed to your own spirit so that you do not think that you have a right to be mean in your response.  Don’t return evil for evil; as far as it depends on you, live at peace; don’t take revenge; don’t be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

v Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, Col. 3:18-19.  Recognize that God’s grace for marriage is bound up in the wife’s submission and the husband’s love.  And both of these qualities are found in Christ who submitted Himself to His Father and who loves His Bride.  Be Christ in your home.

Now, don’t go out and do your best.  That’s the flesh.  Humble yourself before the Lord.  Present your body a living sacrifice to Christ.  Then live the transformed life.