What is marriage? Let us refine that: what is marriage in the Bible? Good, and some not so good, books have been written on the subject. For us, let us note simply two words: companionship and covenant.
The LORD has been witness between you and the wife of your youth, with whom you have dealt treacherously; yet she is your companion and your wife by covenant. (Mal. 2:14)
In Prov. 2:17, the immoral woman (a woman who would seek to be one flesh with a man who is not her husband), describes her as one who forsakes the companion of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God.
Surely you see the two words: companion and covenant. These define marriage. “Covenant” is the word used of the great covenants God made with Noah, Abraham and David. Note that this “marriage” covenant is also a great covenant, and it is a covenant that concerns the husband and wife (your wife by covenant) but it is not made with the spouse but is made with God (the covenant of her God). Each marriage companion makes a covenant with God to be to the other what God intended him or her to be. In these days, you can have all the arguments you want about the value of “living together before marriage” but in the end, it is not a Biblical relationship. It is, from the Bible’s point of view, sexual immorality.
SECOND, JESUS ACKNOWLEDGED THAT MARRIAGE IS DIFFICULT.
He asked the Pharisees what the Law of Moses said about divorce and they rightly noted that Moses required a certificate of divorce to make it legal (cf. Deut. 24:1-4). Jesus’ response to this was to say that Moses made this arrangement because of the hardness of your heart. It was not God’s design from the beginning but became a necessity after Gen. 3 when the first couple sinned.
The curse on the woman included this “prophecy:” your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you (Gen. 3:16). You might think this means she would want to be with her husband and he would be the loving leader. That was God’s original intent (cf. Gen. 2 where Eve was Adam’s helper). If you think that you are wrong. First, this is a “curse.” That should make it clear that this is something difficult. And sure enough, a study of the words bears that out.
· “desire” is used 3X in the OT. Here, the woman desires the husband. In Gen. 4:7 sin desires to control Cain. In Song of Solomon 7:10 the desire of the “beloved” (the husband) is for his wife. It is a desire appropriate for the husband to have, but because of sin the wife seeks the role of leadership.
· “rule” is also in Gen. 4:7, of the rule Cain needed over sin. That rule was not the gentle leadership of a loving husband but the domination of something bad.
What the curse predicted was a wife in rebellion and a husband in oppression. If you see the world from a Biblical point of view, this makes perfect sense!
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