Read 1 Peter 3:1-7, Marriage

Peter now addresses the Christian life lived out in marriage.  The context is still honorable conduct in an unbelieving world.  The primary focus is on how a believing wife should live when her husband is not a believer.  Verse one refers to husbands who obey not the word.  Some may want to apply this to a believing husband who is not living according to the Scriptures.  But the context I believe dictates otherwise. 

This passage speaks at length to wives compared to the single verse to husbands.  The reason is that the situation of an unbelieving husband was both more likely and more difficult in the ancient world, even as it is today.  In Peter’s day (in both Roman/Greek and Jewish society) the wife had few, if any, rights.  To hold a different religion than her husband created significant problems.  The life of a Christian also is at odds with that of the unbeliever.  Peter’s counsel to husbands as well as wives is good in any marriage but has a special application to the unequally yoked couple.

His words to the wives is not meant to say she should never talk at all (v1).  Rather he says she should not keep preaching the gospel to her husband.  It is quite likely that repeated “sermons” in any relationship will result in the unbeliever becoming tired of the subject and increasing their rebellion.  Instead the believing wife is encouraged to live a chaste life with fear or respect.  The definite of chaste is given in v3-4 in the emphasis on inward beauty over external beauty.  Again, it does not suggest that she should not have an external beauty; but rather that she would not seek to impress her husband by her attractiveness.  That is a never-ending competitiveness.  The picture Peter paints of a godly wife is a lifestyle that will usually be pleasing to her husband and will certainly be pleasing to her Lord, Jesus Christ.  It is the submissive lifestyle, as v5-6 make clear, a manner of life that has been effective from ancient times.

While Peter does not speak about the believing husband having an unbelieving wife that narrative certainly fits his advice.  The husband should seek to understand his wife and not simply try to press her into his mold.  He should understand her natural weaknesses and honor her accordingly by his protection and encouragement.  And third, he should treat her as an heir together of the grace of life.  This may sound as if the wife is a believer but the phrase does not insist on that.  The husband and wife are, in every marriage, joined in life.  In that sense this is a call to the husband to treat his wife respectfully and as an equal.  That is an important truth for the wife to hear.  Unlike the ideas some people have, submission is not a sign of a person that is less important or less capable than the one to whom they submit.  It is, again, a voluntary attitude, that seeks the best for her husband. 

A husband who lives honorably will find that his prayers (are not) hindered by the constant friction that characterizes marriage since the fall.  Remember: sin brought into marriage the likelihood of a wife who seeks her husband’s position and a husband who puts his wife down harshly (Gen. 3:16).  Even in an unequally-yoked marriage the husband can lead in such a way as to remove a lot of the effects of sin.